June 22, 2024 — Reno, Nevada
Hi everyone, welcome. On behalf of Sami and Nik, and their families, I would like to thank everyone for being here today. You’ve made the journey from here and there… probably a little bit of everywhere. Thank you for making the effort and taking the time to be a part of this day… but also each other’s lives.
We also want to thank those who can’t be a part of this day — whether because space or time, death or life. We hope that Sami and Nik feel their love and support from all corners of this life.
Nik and Sami… hi. What a big day. I want to invite you to take a moment. To stop and just really settle in past all this excitement. Focus in on [environment] and the feeling of each other’s hand in yours. Take a minute to look around and see who’s here with you. We’re here to help you celebrate one of life’s greatest moments.
Take a second to commit this moment to memory. Because it all moves so fast. We don’t want you to lose it.
It moves almost as fast as your love story. Well, at least as fast as it did when Nik finally got the guts to ask Sami out.
For those of you who don’t me, what a shame. I’m Kira. Nik and Sami are two of my best friends. In fact, one might say that I’m the reason we’re meeting here today… I introduced them back in 2015. To paraphrase how Sami would describe it — I was there for that part.
Sami and Nik, you fell in love in a newsroom. Your accidental flirting grew into love outside of it... with punching bags and beach bonfires and 50 questions New York Times style and all those miles you drove — or flew — back and forth those years you spent apart.
Sami and Nik’s first date was to the student rec center at the University of Oregon. Sami thought she was going on a hike. Nik knew her better from the get-go — taking her to the boxing room where he taped up images of the Daily Emerald staff driving Sami the most nuts on the punching bag… and letting her loose.
You two took a risk back then. You took a risk at love when separation was coming your way. When life was uncertain and a just-budding relationship was daunting… for both of you.
You did it, I think, because you knew somewhere it was simply love.
Love — what a puny word. Four letters… for such a big thing. Can you believe it? And yet, here we all are… in this place for that puny word.
Love is simple — mostly. It’s the feeling we have for those who we deeply care about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or as heavy as the sacrifices we make for our children. It can be romantic, platonic, familial, fleeting, everlasting, conditional, unconditional, amplified by kindness, deepened by time, leavened by generosity, nourished by humor, and full promises and commitments.
Much like that sentence… love doesn’t really contain periods. And it doesn’t really contain exclamation points. Love… and committing to that love… is a life time of ellipses.
And in between those ellipses…. is a lurking dream we all have. That we might, someday, find someone who will listen to us, who will not turn away in the face of our ugliest revelations. That we find the company of a wise, true friend. That we find someone who isn’t embarrassed by our emotions, or their own. Someone who recognizes that life is short and that all we have to offer, in the end, is love.
Love is the essential nutrient. Without it, life has little meeting. It’s the best thing we have to give and the most valuable thing we receive. It’s worthy of all the hullabaloo. It’s not something you ever imagined having — it’s something you never dreamed.
Today your dream… well it comes true.
[introducing Nik and Sami vows]
Sami and Nik… This is the moment the invoice comes. The rent is due. The taxes levied. This is about to get real. You don’t have to have a wedding in front of all these people to have a marriage… but you’re choosing to.
It is your words, your intentions, your vision, that must define and shape this marriage.
So we’ll turn to you now, to make your promises before our group. Nik?
Sami?
You fell in love by chance, but you’re here today because you’re making a choice. You’re choosing to choose each other… for the rest of whatever.
Nik and Sami, attention is the first and final act of love. And the ultimate dwindling resource in the human arrangement isn’t cheap oil or potable water or even common sense, but attentiveness. Do you promise to continue to give your attention to each other and this relationship? You may respond, “we will.”
Sami and Nik, our biggest obligation with the ones we love is to be forthright… as best we can. Do you promise to be open hearted, upfront and vocal about what you’re feeling?
Nik and Sami, we all want to find someone who listens to us. Who doesn’t turn away when things get ugly. Who isn’t embarrassed by our emotions, but recognizes that at the end of the day… life is way too short, time is never enough, and all we have to offer at the end of this life ….. is love. Do you promise to love each other… no matter what you find? You may respond, “we will.”
Sami and Nik, please turn for a moment to face your loved ones gathered with you today.
One plus one does not equal two — not when it comes to love. Two people in love aren’t living, or loving, in isolation. The love between them is a source of strength for them to draw on for themselves, each other, and those of us around them.
But, we — their community — have a responsibility to this couple. We must support them together. The new family they make. We must support them during the times of those inexplicable sorrows that await us all. We must help them remember that the good isn’t at the end of the rainbow, but sprinkled throughout. We must help them to remember to pull from love. No matter how hard live gets..
Community, please respond, "we will."
Sami and Nik, you’ve both chosen to wear rings as a reminder of these promises.
People often say wedding bands are a perfect circle, with no beginning or end.
But these rings did have a beginning. The stones were formed a long time ago deep with the earth. Eventually, a series of lucky events caused them to rise to the surface, where someone dug them up.
Metal was then liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees – molded, cooled, and painstakingly polished. Something beautiful was made from raw elements.
Love is like that.
It comes from humble beginnings, and through a combination of serendipity and effort, imperfect beings shape it into something extraordinary.
It’s the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.
As you trace the whorls and ridges of these rings in years to come, let them be a talisman of this truth: That the most sacred, eternal things are born of flawed, fleeting elements given new life by love. What you two have forged here today had humble, yet wondrous origins. May you protect its imperfect beauty until the end of your days.
Nik, as you place the ring on Sami’s finger, repeat after me:
With this ring,
I promise to love you with a mindfully clear purpose.
I give you this ring as a symbol
Of all the years that have gone by quickly and the many to come.
To keep record all of the moments that are better when you’re around.
Sami, as you place the ring on Nik’s finger, repeat after me:
With this ring, I promise to love you with a mindfully clear purpose.
I give you this ring as a symbol
Of my unending thankfulness that you win all our arguments
And you convinced me of the impossible.
May the promises you have made today be as ever-present in your hearts as these rings are on your fingers.
Nik and Sami, please join hands. Look at these hands for they are those of your closest friend. They are strong and full of love. As you join hands today, you make the promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
Your future will be built by these hands. As the years pass, these hands will love you and cherish you. The slightest touch from these hands will give you comfort. These are the hands that will hold your children. These are the hands that will keep your family as one. When you have tears of sorrow or tears of joy, they will be wiped away by these hands.
And now, to all the friends and family who have come to celebrate this marriage, I would like to present, for the first time anywhere, these partners in life.
You may now kiss each other to seal these promises.
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